Spotlight Post – 1

Divorce in America has been increasing over the past decades. About 50% of children will experience 18^th birthday, and almost half will witness subsequent divorces in the future (Parker). Research on the effects of divorce on children was popularized in the 1980s and 1990s. The conclusions were mainly one-sided arguments that children of divorce experience more short-term and long-term negative effects than children whose parents remained married. Emotionally, physically, and psychologically divorce was found to have consequences on children, supporting the argument that what’s “best for the kids” is for parents to stay married, even if that means battling with an estranged relationship.

In many religions, divorce is looked down on and a thought of as a disappointment to God. Many religious publications use research done by sociologists such as Paul Amato to support their claims, citing that “divorce leads to ‘disruptions in the parent-child relationship, continuing discord between former spouses, loss of emotional support, economic hardship, and an increase in the number of negative life events,’”. This idea of weakened relationships between parent and child includes instability and a lack of trust. In the long-term, daughters of divorce are thought to become needy and insecure in future relationships while sons of divorce turn out to be overly dominant and less intimate. Further, these children are predicted to be more sexually promiscuous and less successful in romance than children whose parents remained married. It is believed that children of divorce are more likely to experience divorce with their own partners later in life and afflict their children with the negative effects of divorce as well (Fagan and Churchill).

In addition to weakened personal relationships, children of divorce have shown patterns in academic and behavioral conflicts early on. Studies have found that children of divorce skip class more often than children with intact families. Divorce has psychosocial consequences that make children more likely to become antisocial, misbehave, use drugs, and participate in criminal activity as adults (Fagan and Churchill). Children of divorced parents are twice as likely to drop out of high school (Parker). Consequently, they are also less likely to enroll in college than children with married parents (Fagan and Churchill).

Much of the research from 1980s and 1990s arguing against divorce is clearly overexaggerated. This motivated other psychologists and sociologists to present new evidence showing divorce does not have as great an effect on children than previously thought. What they found was that conflict, not the event of divorce, is what has the greatest effect on children. Therefore, if divorce ends or lessens the amount of conflict between parents it is within the best interest of the children to separate. Research shows that children of divorce with depression and other disorders showed symptoms predivorce. While children of divorce are often thought to have more trouble in future relationships, this is not true. It is accurate to say that children’s future relationships are affected by their relationships with their parents and it is possible for children to have secure and happy relationships with them, even if the parents are divorced (O’Connell Corcoran).

A longitudinal study done at Montclair State University supported this claim that conflict creates strife in children’s lives, not divorce. Children who grew up in high conflict families saw fewer negative effects if their parents got a divorce. The study also found a pattern of a short-term crisis period during the adjustment. This supports the idea that children do experience negative consequences during a divorce. However, the one to two year crisis period showed less long-term negative effects than children with parents remaining in high conflict marriages for years. In addition to these findings, the study showed that parents’ happiness did not affect the happiness of the children’s adult relationships. Just because children’s parents were happily married did not necessarily mean the children grew up to have happy partnerships themselves and vice versa (Rettner).

I support the opinion that it is conflict between parents, not divorce, that affects children negatively. Divorce, of course, is a product of unhappiness within a marriage and indicates that conflict has been present between the two partners. However, it is much more beneficial for the child if the parents separate than stay together in a hostile relationship. Children of divorce are likely to experience hardship, especially during the adjustment period of divorce, because the stability that they had known within their home changes. However, children become resilient, and if they still have the support and security that they experienced with their parents predivorce, they should not be negatively afflicted in the long run. Divorce is so prevalent, it is almost impossible not to have relatives or close friends who have been children of divorce themselves. My experience with people that have divorced parents shows no difference in their growth and relationships than people with married parents. The out of date belief that it is better to stick together even though parents are in an unhealthy relationship is simply not true. This idea was based on generations of ideals of what the perfect family should b, according to religious customs and societal pressures. Today, the focus should be on what is best for everyone, because everybody deserves a chance to create happy, healthy relationships.

 

Fagan, Patrick F., and Aaron Churchill. The Effects of Divorce on Children. Marriage & Religion

Institute, 11 Jan. 2012, http://www.frc.org/EF/EF12A22.pdf.

 

O’Connell Corcoran, Kathleen. “Psychological and Emotional Aspects of Divorce.”

Mediate.com, June 1997, http://www.mediate.com/articles/psych.cfm.

 

Parker, Wayne. “Statistics About Divorce and the Impact It Can Have on Children.” Verywell

Family, Verywellfamily, 5 Apr. 2018, www.verywellfamily.com/children-of-divorce-in-

america-statistics-1270390.

 

Rettner, Rachael. “Divorce Not Always Bad for Kids.” LiveScience, Purch, 30 June 2010,

http://www.livescience.com/6648-divorce-bad-kids.html.

 

Chap. 4 – Impression

It is interesting examining how the psychological landscape of the human mind changes in a lifetime. Many factors assist in uniquely developing the mind of an individual, and each individual transitions through the psychological states at times dependent on their biological make-up and life experiences. The following is my interpretation of the eight psychological stages of life:

 

Stage 1: Infancy (Birth – 2 years)

The psychological state of an infant is limited to basic survival instincts and the dependency to be cared for. This is a rapid stage of experiencing and processing completely new stimuli, including sensory information such as sights and sounds.

Stage 2: Early Childhood (2 years – 4 years)

This is when children are still heavily dependent upon their caretakers for survival. They do not understand societal rules. They can identify the sensory information they experience and associate this information with past experiences to infer meaning. Early language development is present.

Stage 3: Mid Childhood (4 years – 9 years)

Children can make the association between words and meaning. They have developed many self-sufficient tendencies and understand some social trends. They begin to develop many relationships with peers, rather than just caretakers. They are curious, and their minds are flexible enough to be taught in a learning environment.

Stage 4: Late Childhood (10 years – 13 years)

Children begin displaying signs of independence and uniqueness in personality. They question often and are easily taught new information. They have close relationships with peers and find a sense of individuality.

Stage 5: Puberty (13 years – 16 years)

At this stage, children experience angst. They want independence but are not usually able to be completely self-sufficient without direction. They begin to experience sexual desires. They are often faced with the difficulty of discovering where they fit in to society.

Stage 6: Early Adulthood (17 years – 25 years)

Adults are completely self-sufficient and strive for self-actualization. They can assess their lives and solve their problems. Often, they have adventurous and risk-taking tendencies, but also begin to desire stability.

Stage 7: Adulthood (25 years – 65 years)

This is the peak psychological state. Adults are self-sufficient, experienced, and strive for happiness. They are still capable of learning new things and retaining new information. They can care for others. They have many relationships in their lives. Stability is key to their mental health.

Stage 8: Seniority (65 years – Death)

In many ways, the psychological state of these adults begins to recede. Mental processes may slow or become inefficient. Things learned in early experiences of life, such as language and some life-sustaining habits, are still present. However, their psychological state can deteriorate so much that they will again need care and support from others to survive.